coping, courage, death, grief, healing, learning, life, memories, perseverance, photography

Life in threes…

Other people probably do a lot of soul searching before setting out to create a blog.  It makes me feel a little guilty to admit that this blog wasn’t something I planned, looked forward to starting, or debated pros and cons about.  Nothing like that. I simply went to the latest class offered by, and the subject, which I had paid no attention to ahead of time, was How To Start A Blog. By the end of the three hour class we had the framework of a blog page in our computers, all we had to do was write. So I did. Boom.

If I’d have thought about it harder, or at all, I probably would have talked myself out of it. Too much pressure to think of things to say. Too embarrassed to put my words out there. Too little confidence to think anyone would be interested in what I had to say. Only there wasn’t time to think about it because I was too busy writing, and truly couldn’t stop. So I had woken up that morning with no thoughts of a blog, and by the time I went to bed that night I was a blogger. I noticed that the first month had whizzed past, and then the second also. Now it’s been three months, and that fact has been on my mind.

Maybe because it’s the third month that it seems significant, and it coincides with the fact that it’s almost exactly three years since Charley died, and that seems impossible.  I woke up the morning that he died with no clue in the world that life was about to turn upside down. But there you are.  And the days keep passing, like a runaway train that just won’t stop to let you catch up. Sometimes it feels as if I’ve been living in some sort of drama and I’m playing the “loyal, reliable, hard working”, wife. I looked up synonyms for stalwart to come up with those. Well, sometimes I’m tired of being so darned stalwart and want things to get back to normal. Synonyms for normal are, “usual, typical, or expected.” It’s not that life is horrible, or even bad really. Most days are pretty darned good actually. But they aren’t exactly normal either.

It’s no wonder that I keep writing.  Writing is peaceful, so is photography.  Solitary pursuits that feel good, feel normal.purpleflowerfeature