coping, life, life goes on, marriage, memories, moments, on closer examination, photography

Second thoughts…

This is our wedding picture from April 13, 1980. We were so young, even though we were both over 30 at the time, which doesn’t sound so young but it sure looks it to me now.

There are several ways this could go from here but I guess I should choose just one. This was a second marriage for me, first for Charley. I quickly discovered that it’s not a matter of problems in your first marriage and no problems in a second marriage. It was more like which problems would you rather deal with? And what was life like in between the bumps in the road? And I have to say that life was more fun the second time around. Not all the time, but enough of the time.

I miss having fun. Or maybe I miss having fun with another person. I didn’t expect to feel this way because I was convinced that being on my own, which was a novel idea to start with, was always going to be enough. Perfect even. Now I especially notice older couples shopping at the grocery store where I work, with their heads together as they choose a treat from the bakery. I tend to want to think that they are going to enjoy that treat together, but on the other hand they might be stressing over stretching their budget to afford that treat. Husbands commonly comment, as they buy a donut, “My wife would kill me if she knew I bought this”. I tell them that what happens in the bakery stays in the bakery.


It seems like the wife is always the one playing the role of the spoil sport. I wonder if I was like that, I can’t remember. I was leaving work when one older couple that I had noticed as they shopped, brought out their small bag of groceries and were climbing onto a three-wheeled motorcycle and drove off. Looked like fun… for them, not me, motorcycles would constitute more of a worst nightmare for me. But the unexpected.

So as I was leaving Pine Island not long ago Delilah was on the radio. She asked for a caller’s story and the woman described her husband as the love of her life. She sounded older to me, and she said that they had met online, which is a cringe-worthy thought to me. But it made me think. Then the church bulletin was sitting on my table and what jumped out at me was an ad for  But when when I saw a pop up on my Facebook page for Senior Singles I had to wonder if someone was sending me a message, so I clicked on it. Naturally you had to create a user name and password to enter the site, so I pondered that for a couple of minutes, and put in the user name Photonut. Evidently that wasn’t going to work for them because they came back with suggestions for me, three of them, HotPhotonut, WildPhotonut, and Photonut Fun. Um, okay no, I don’t think so…