finding my way, leap of faith, life goes on, live and learn, photography, Uncategorized

When is a sunset not a sunset?

When it’s just the sky on your way home from work at 5 PM.  Pretty enough, but no place to stop for a nice picture.  And no camera with you, well, besides your phone.  And Ozzie patiently waiting for you to come home, as if you arriving home was going to mean fun for him.  It wasn’t.  Working on your feet from 8 to 5 is pretty darn tiring these days.  Or maybe it’s like being on short time in the service, because I know I only have a week more to work and I’m done.  And yes, there are mixed emotions associated with this.  I will miss my co-workers who were there for me these last four years as I figured out how to keep on going on my own.  Work was my social life, and I was happy to be home every night.  And then I wasn’t.

This mental turning point took me by surprise.  A friend describes hiking all the 4,000 ft peaks in the White Mountains, and how when you get to the top it can be extremely cold and windy, and you have to struggle to cross that peak and get to the tree line on the other side to find shelter from the weather.  I have never climbed mountains, but I found myself realizing that the safe little harbor that I’ve been enjoying wasn’t going to sustain me in the long run, and that presented an emotional hurdle that I’ve found to be the mental equivalent of crossing that mountain peak. First to face the reality of the situation, and then to resist the urge to stick my head in the sand and do nothing.  Or I could venture into the unknown, so to speak.  But I’ve gotten there, I have rolled the dice even though I have no idea what’s next, besides the movers coming today to move the few larger items that I’m bringing with me to my tiny new Florida home.   Tiny home and tiny expenses, and time to have an adventure or two.  I’m just a fireman’s daughter who has been telling myself that being all tucked in at home was all I needed to be happy.  But maybe there is more…