Bayport, changing times, coping, courage, finding my way, following the rules, life goes on, perseverance, photography, sunset

The rules…

I have always spent a lot of time arguing with myself over what I should or should not do.  Rules have always dominated my life, and most of those rules I made up myself.  Going through my old photos brought me to this one, taken at Bayport a couple of years ago.  The first thought that came to mind was that this part of the park isn’t gated off, I could still go there for pictures.  A happy thought, until I remember the rule, stay home.  Would it really matter if I headed out, just me and my camera?  Even if I go out and don’t see another person have I somehow contributed to this current state of emergency we find ourselves in?  I shake my head over speeders and people who run red lights for obvious reasons, but is it up to me to decide if these new rules apply to me?  And how much inactivity will it take at my age to create a situation where my body won’t cooperate with what in my mind I think I can do?  It will be sunrise soon enough, and light enough for me to take a walk, so that’s what I think I will do.  I will go out and get my 10,000 steps in while I still can.  It’s a rule…

a second look, boats, Florida landmarks, foggy sky, life goes on, memories, moments, perseverance, photography, sky, sunset, weather

Old photos…

I missed the announcement that the photo shoot for the evening had been cancelled.  I figured it out while waiting for the ferry without another photographer in sight.  I went ahead and rode the ferry anyway, and also rode the sunset cruise out of Clearwater beach. The sliver of sky at the horizon provided enough sunset color to make me happy that day, and happy with my pictures, but they look different to me now, two years later.  Now I’m reviewing pictures from that day  and I find myself wondering about all the people who were there, all the dramas going on behind the windows that I photographed that day.  Were people enjoying a longed-for vacation?  Were there reunions of old friends happening anywhere out there?  Engagements?  Happy news?  Sad news?  I was enjoying my day that day even if it hadn’t turned out exactly as I’d expected.  But today I know that those hotels and condos are still there, but they may be empty, or nearly so.  There may be people enjoying the sunset from home even as I write this.  I hope so.  The hotels are man made, but the sunset is a gift.  It’s still there to be enjoyed.

I don’t know why I never went back and rode the ferry again.  My friend just visited me recently and I wish I’d thought to do this with her.  Right now I feel like I just can’t wait to go out and do things like this again.  I hope I remember to make the most of my  opportunities when that day comes.

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a second look, dogs, finding my way, grief, healing, life goes on, loneliness, memories, perseverance, pets, photography, simple things, solitude

It’s not about the bees…

It’s not about the flowers either.  It’s about the dogs.  About how living alone, but with dogs, isn’t really living alone alone at all.  You talk to them, or I did anyhow.  And because of them you go out for a walk and find things like a cactus covered in gorgeous white flowers.  And you wonder how it is that you only just noticed them now that you are interested in photography, because you also walked the same route with the dogs for years before that was true.  Walking them also led to fun exchanges with people on the street, like the guy in the convertible who stopped to say, “I didn’t think you were allowed to have livestock in Spring Hill.”  He was referring to the fact that these dogs weren’t the daintiest of God’s creatures, all 250 pounds of them.  And then there’s the breathing.  They were out of the house for a month after my husband died, my son having taken them over while Charley was in the hospital.  I kept the house dark and quiet during that time.  It wasn’t a choice, I needed the solitude.  I don’t know how long that would have lasted if not for the dogs.  When I did bring them home to my quiet house I found myself listening to them breathe.  It was as if the house had come back to life, the house was breathing, and maybe I also took a breath.

I probably wasn’t trying to hold two leashes while I took these pictures with my iPhone 7+.  I used to drop the leashes and step on them if I could, but if not I’d let them go because they waited patiently for me to finish.  Nope, I wasn’t ever alone when they were part of my life.  I miss them.

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a second look, coping, courage, friends, go with the flow, home, life, life goes on, loneliness, moments, on closer examination, perseverance, photography, simple things

Striking a balance…

So yes, I am alone most of the time as I’ve said.  And yes, I don’t mind it, most of the time at least.  But today my mind was on how much more fun it was when life was two by two.  Like this…3-28twobirds3-28toucan3-28lovebirds03-31-20twobytwodonkeys03-31-20twobytwocolts203-31-20twobytwocolts103-31-20twobytwohens

Maybe not so much like this though…03-31-20twobytwocoyotes

There’s nothing to do but get through each day the best we can.  As for me, I’ll think about where I want to go when we are all turned loose again….

'scene' along the way, finding my way, foggy sky, life goes on, live and learn, nature, perseverance, photography, sunrise

Rhythms….

When you wake up at 3:30 AM, and I mean WiDE awake, then you might find yourself bored before the sun comes up.  Lots of times that’s how I wind up out for the sunrise.  A different bridge on Sunday, and the only heron to be seen was the one in the tree in the distance.  And as the sun came up the birds started flying over, and landing in unison on the wire.  It’s a bit of a ritual it seems.  That the natural world is proceeding as usual, following its rhythm, is comforting while we are adapting to this new normal.03-29-20bridgesunrise203-29-20bridgesunrise03-29-20bridgesunrise303-29-20bridgesunrise403-29-20sunrisefinal