friends, healing, learning, life goes on, live and learn, Uncategorized

Technology vs people…

Part of the joys of belonging to the photo club that I’ve found here in Florida, and I’ll repeat myself here, it’s the FCCP, Florida Center for Creative Photography, are the classes available to attend in person or online, and the opportunity to learn to use your camera more effectively.  And to do this within a group of people with a common interest, which  leads to pleasant lunches after a shoot, plus friendships to bring even more contentment to your life.  The bigger group through which I found this group is called Meet UP, and through them you might find groups in your own area, for photography or whatever other interest warms your heart.  Connections with people are more important to your/my happiness and mental health than I ever realized.  I needed to spend time at home by myself, and I did, happily at home for a long time, honestly.  But it didn’t sustain me forever, and the people I’ve met here, at work and through photography, plus the people I’ve re-connected with back where I grew up, have made all the difference.

All of which brings me to these pictures.  This is me trying to apply the lessons I learned last Saturday, in a class where we learned to take panoramic photographs.  If you can take the photos correctly the computer can then stitch them into a panorama.  So I had a brainstorm last night and raced out to an overpass in Tarpon Springs to take said panoramas.  Only the view from the overpass wasn’t quite as lovely as I remembered it to be.  And  zooming out to take as many photos as possible resulted in a very wide photo, a good thing I thought, but very small images off in the distance.  Not quite what I was going for.  So it’ll take time to figure out which view suits this sort of image.  But, as I’ve learned in the classes I’ve taken, when you edit in Lightroom the edits are non-destructive, allowing the images to be re-edited, and re-combined, and you might find that your initial disappointment in the photos was just your quick judgement, and it may turn out that they make you happy after all.4-16-19HDRpano2Turns out the largest panoramic image I got won’t load here.  But that’s okay, this one is what I was going for anyhow.   And a few more that I liked…4-16-19HDscene34-16-19HDRsunset4-16-19HDRscene14-16-19HDRcaptjacks4-16-19HDRboat4-16-19HDboat2

Still learning, and that makes me happy…

 

a second look, finding my way, healing, history, memories, moments, perseverance, photography, unintended consequences

Hokey Pokey…

“You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out”…  The song came to mind this morning as I sat in the dark and quiet with my coffee.  At about a month since I actually moved myself into my new place, as opposed to just moving my stuff into my new place, I think I’ve got it settled.  Maybe.  But all this arranging and rearranging in here started because of how dark it was out in the Florida room.  And the fact that I realized that the windows would take tension rods so I wasn’t going to have to actually install anything.  That’s what got me started.  I made a cat quilt wall hanging for my mother years ago, and it found a home hanging over the ugly, metal trimmed window out there,  It looked cute, I thought.  But the unintended consequence was that it made the kitchen work space darker.  So take it down or figure out how to ‘dress’ that kitchen window? 04-08-19catquilt04-08-19HLshelvesI wasn’t sure I’d stick with this peg board until I came across two of my all time favorite pictures, one of Charley with a 4 pound lobster he ordered in Provincetown years ago, and the one of me making a very rude, and might I add out-of-character, gesture.  I believe they both were taken on the same trip home years ago.  I didn’t realize that I had copies of those pictures, and the bird photo holder that’s never held a photo must have been waiting for this moment.  We look so young.  So it’s still a little dark in that kitchen corner, but for now I’ll just turn the light on and enjoy the memory.  Charley in the kitchen is so appropriate, he was a great cook.  The puzzle pieces are still falling into place.  It may not be time to do the Hokey Pokey and turn myself around quite yet, but it’s getting there…04-08-19Docandme

finding my way, healing, home, life goes on, memories, old dogs new tricks, perseverance, photography, solitude

My first place…

The first thing Charley and I bought together was a ridiculously expensive stained glass window.  It was in an antique shop in Old Ellicott City, MD, and the blue pieces of glass were/are original to the window. Maybe the rest of the pieces were missing or broken.  But at any we loved it, and it signaled that we were going forward together. That was close to 40 years ago now, and it’s moved with us since then, so it has hung in various spots over the years.  But mostly it was in the upstairs window of the den of the house we lived in for over 30 years.  Many more years in that one house than I lived in my hometown, which was a stunning realization when it hit me.  Yet I left that house behind without looking back, but I’ve never been able to leave my hometown behind.  I’ve lived a lot of places in my life, but none of them have been ‘home’ to me, despite my penchant for fixing them up.  I had considered selling it, the stained glass window I mean, but I knew that I’d never get the crazy price we paid for it.  And during the time it hung in that upstairs window, the one with a window seat below it, our cat, Hobo, used to reach up and dig his claws into the window frame for a nice stretch.  And so they remain there, his claw marks forever part of our history.  So I fix up my place and make it all cozy for myself.  This is the equivalent of my first apartment, the first place I’ve ever made for myself alone.  In a place I never expected to be.  You don’t usually furnish your first place with a lifetime’s worth of treasures.  Treasures that hold memories, and bring them to life when you look at them.  My ‘first’ place may be my last place, and it may just be home…

'scene' along the way, connections, coping, death, finding my way, grief, healing, life goes on, marriage, memories, perseverance, photography, sunrise

Questions without answers…

I honestly don’t know what Charley would have thought of my current camera obsession.  That I’m alone now is probably an advantage since I can hop out of my chair and into the car for sunrise photos at the spur of the moment.  He wouldn’t go anywhere until he was showered and dressed, and he always smelled heavenly.  Skunk-piss he called it, and I still have some and take a whiff now and again.  When the time has gotten away from me I’ve been known throw on the clothes from the day before and head out, and I don’t know that I even comb my hair when that happens.  It’s a factor of leaving the house in the dark when no one can see you, and then it’s light out and you head for home and want to hide.  With a little more preparation I’ve been known to stop at Panera for an accessory cup of coffee and a treat.  Yesterday after this shoot I got a cinnamon crunch bagel, which I had forgotten even existed.  I didn’t need the reminder.

So, it’s a toss up really.  Charley might have been annoyed with me over my endless photo shoots, or he quite possibly would have bought himself a better camera than mine and it might have been a competition.  It could have been fun, but I guess I’ll never know…03-24-19sunrise103-24-19sunrise203-24-19sunrise303-24-19sunrise403-24-19sunrise503-24-19sunrisefeature

blessings, connections, coping, courage, death, eavesdropping, grief, healing, life, moments, strangers

Dilly dilly…

I took myself out for a quesadilla burger last night.  I’d been thinking about them for a week or two, and since burgers are the Monday special at Appleby’s, and I had stayed home and cleaned the house most of the day, and all the pots, pans, dishes, and silverware are at the mobile, it seemed like the thing to do.

The parking lot was quite full, so I hoped there would be a seat available at the bar, and there was.  It was empty actually, I was surprised.  And as I sat there enjoying my burger a mother and daughter came in and sat a little bit away from me at the bar.  I couldn’t help but hear their conversation and it became obvious that the daughter was there to support the mother who had just lost her husband.  It was a brand new situation for them, should she ‘have something’ here, or was it okay to just do it ‘back home’ was a topic.  The Mom and Dad had apparently frequented Appleby’s.  Mom said that if her Michael had seen that they had ordered breadsticks with Alfredo sauce he’d have shaken his head.  She told the bartender that she didn’t know if she could bring herself to come there without him, but she decided that she could do it while her daughter was with her this first time.  I related to them so much, to the two or three days that my son stayed with me in the aftermath of Charley’s death, until I kicked him out, sort of.  I felt connected to them, though they had no clue and we hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

And then it was time to leave.  I had switched to a bigger purse because I’m carrying more with me back and forth, and I love that purse but I can never find anything in it. Like my wallet, but it simply wasn’t there.  This had never happened to me before and I wondered why I wasn’t in a total panic, but I wasn’t, and I quietly (I thought) told the young gal who was bartending that I was embarrassed, and asked if I could give her a check.  She said no, it’s fine, just stop by another time and take care of it.  As I asked for the check I heard the mother say, “We’ll take care of it.”  I looked over and she was in tears.  She thanked me.  She said that her husband would have loved this, it was perfect, it was just the thing he loved to do.  And while this wasn’t my finest moment I felt so calm as I saw what this moment was for her.  I thanked them, hugged them, and told them that my son and I had spent this same time together four years ago.  And Mom thanked me again, said her husband would be so pleased with this, and asked that the next time I go out and have a drink, to please raise my glass to Michael and say, “Dilly dilly.”  And I will…

adventure, blessings, finding my way, friends, healing, life goes on, photography

Thankfulness…

My coworkers made me cry yesterday.  In a good way.  They gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers, and a card, and the sentiments written inside were what really did me in.  It’s for my re-retirement, something I thought I did in 2008.  But there was too much time to kill and that led me to the bakery, where I found people whom I’ll keep in my life forever.  They constitute my newest friends, but that doesn’t diminish the impact they have had on my life as they were there for me for the biggest challenge I’ve ever had.  Their friendship made that process a lot easier.  And it was a process, which has led me to be on the brink of a new adventure, back to the people and places of my youth.  I’m thankful for my friends, new friends and old friends,  I love you all!11-22retirement.jpg