blessings, connections, coping, courage, death, eavesdropping, grief, healing, life, moments, strangers

Dilly dilly…

I took myself out for a quesadilla burger last night.  I’d been thinking about them for a week or two, and since burgers are the Monday special at Appleby’s, and I had stayed home and cleaned the house most of the day, and all the pots, pans, dishes, and silverware are at the mobile, it seemed like the thing to do.

The parking lot was quite full, so I hoped there would be a seat available at the bar, and there was.  It was empty actually, I was surprised.  And as I sat there enjoying my burger a mother and daughter came in and sat a little bit away from me at the bar.  I couldn’t help but hear their conversation and it became obvious that the daughter was there to support the mother who had just lost her husband.  It was a brand new situation for them, should she ‘have something’ here, or was it okay to just do it ‘back home’ was a topic.  The Mom and Dad had apparently frequented Appleby’s.  Mom said that if her Michael had seen that they had ordered breadsticks with Alfredo sauce he’d have shaken his head.  She told the bartender that she didn’t know if she could bring herself to come there without him, but she decided that she could do it while her daughter was with her this first time.  I related to them so much, to the two or three days that my son stayed with me in the aftermath of Charley’s death, until I kicked him out, sort of.  I felt connected to them, though they had no clue and we hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

And then it was time to leave.  I had switched to a bigger purse because I’m carrying more with me back and forth, and I love that purse but I can never find anything in it. Like my wallet, but it simply wasn’t there.  This had never happened to me before and I wondered why I wasn’t in a total panic, but I wasn’t, and I quietly (I thought) told the young gal who was bartending that I was embarrassed, and asked if I could give her a check.  She said no, it’s fine, just stop by another time and take care of it.  As I asked for the check I heard the mother say, “We’ll take care of it.”  I looked over and she was in tears.  She thanked me.  She said that her husband would have loved this, it was perfect, it was just the thing he loved to do.  And while this wasn’t my finest moment I felt so calm as I saw what this moment was for her.  I thanked them, hugged them, and told them that my son and I had spent this same time together four years ago.  And Mom thanked me again, said her husband would be so pleased with this, and asked that the next time I go out and have a drink, to please raise my glass to Michael and say, “Dilly dilly.”  And I will…

photography, silliness, strangers, sunrise

Fishermen…

It doesn’t seem as if you can lump all the fishermen I’ve met at sunrise or sunset photo shoots into any sort of category.  Except they all seem to be friendly.  Take this morning’s sunrise encounter at Hammond’s Creek Bridge.  I was taking pictures, as usual, when he greeted me as he pulled up on a bicycle and marched over and introduced himself.  Keith maybe?  He says he always comes there for sunrise and sunsets but I don’t think I have seen him before.  And I asked him about One-Foot Fred but he wasn’t aware of him at all.  I didn’t see old Fred, just saying.  Anyhow, he asked where I was from, I said MA, and he got excited and said he was from W. Springfield.  So I added that I was from Brockton and he immediately got to talking about Rocky Marciano, and how his mother thinks that Tom Brady is the greatest baseball player ever (that’s what he said that she said).  Then it was on to Carl Yastrzemski, and John Havlicek.  The good old days.  Right about then he pulled a Budweiser out of his pocket and cracked it open, and settled in to watch the sunrise.  You can’t make this stuff up.4-5sunrise14-5sunrise24-5Sunrise4

Facebook, friends, sending a message, silliness, strangers, technology

Hello stranger…

Call me paranoid… but something is going on with Facebook and/or Messenger that has me creeped out . Maybe you get random friend requests, and if you do please tell me so I can stop being concerned, but I seem to get these random friend requests frequently, and it seems to always be from men. It has always seemed odd to me, but not necessarily alarming. Then I mentioned it to my uncle, who said that his daughter told him not to click on them at all, not even to delete them, because if you do then ‘they’ will send even more of them. Who will, Facebook? Is deleting them where I went wrong? If there is some sort of random-possible-friend-generator out there in Facebookland, I’m picturing the wheel from Wheel of Fortune here, shouldn’t the requests be pretty much evenly divided between men and women?
And Messenger seems to me to be one step further into being intrusive when I get a message from a total stranger that just says ‘hello’. I just got a mental image of my daughter reading this and rolling her eyes at how ridiculous I’m being. Again, always men, and always ‘hello’. If you communicate with them to ask who they are would it be some kind of gateway to your information being somewhere out there in cyberland where you wouldn’t want it to be? Is ‘hello’ some kind of code word? One of these random hellos did wind up, and don’t ask me how this happened, as a facebook friend. Yup. Did I somehow click on it when I was just getting pages off my phone? Was it one of those 4 AM half-asleep things? Maybe Ozzie plunked his chin down on the computer when he snuck up on me when I was in the recliner with the laptop in my lap?

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, thinking I was being silly, but I got a friend request a few days ago that makes me think that things have really gone off the rails here. This friend request, from another random, no mutual friends, man, shows his profile picture with him naked! Only from the chest up, but what does that imply? Seriously? Is it me? My co-workers thought that this was hilarious, and I would too, if it was showing up on their Facebook page instead of mine.

I’ve never felt my age more than now, when I’m tempted to complain that today’s society its just too much for me.  Up until now I’ve been such fan of technology in general. I think my New Year’s resolution will be to delete any more of these requests the second I notice them, the heck with what my cousin says. Sorry Deb, love you!

1213randomrequests.jpgFaces have been obscured, I’m not sure why I thought I ought to do that.  And these requests have been deleted, after I took a photo of course…

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