a second look, faith, finding my way, friends, grief, growing old, healing, life goes on, memories, moments, perseverance, photography, road trip, Uncategorized

Gazing ball…

Her husband said we were two peas in a pod.  He said it was a shame we haven’t lived close enough to be part of each other’s day-to-day life all along.  And now we are both alone, and I’ve come to visit for a while, but I’ve been a little too comfy with my oldest, dearest friend.  And too well-then-care-of, what with the toasted tomato sandwiches with just-picked tomatoes.  It would be so much easier to stay here and enjoy the conversation over coffee, and the cribbage by candlelight out on the porch, with a glass of wine.

But change is in the air, it’s time to move on, for both of us.  I will move along tomorrow, heading for coastline and lighthouses. And that’s as far as my plan goes.  Her plan is still writing itself.  I looked into this gazing ball in her garden today, and wondered if it were a crystal ball would I want to know the future?  Would she? Or would we rather keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust that we are heading down just the right path for ourselves?   Okay, maybe just a little peek???

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Making my way…

Last night I found a potential post I had written sitting forgotten in the computer.  It was written as I began this first snowbird season of mine, driving with a new appreciation of what I was seeing through the windshield as I made my way north.  I’m sure that I expressed most of what I had written in former posts since then, but what struck me was my last comment from that post.

If it’s photography that’s opened my mind to actually see and appreciate all that’s around me then it has improved my life immensely.  Now to try to slow down and stop for the photo ops along the way, that’s my goal for this trip.  And every day from now on, no matter where I am.

And that’s exactly what I feel like I’ve done.  I’m happy that I wrote that statement so that I can pat myself on the back for following through.  But there are so many more places left to explore.  I can’t wait…

 

 

 

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Kids Day…

It did occur to me that going to a venue such as the Heritage Museum and Gardens might not be the best choice for a weekend visit.  But it was supposed to be such a nice day, and I hadn’t been out for several days before, so even realizing that it was ‘kids day’ didn’t stop me.  Kids got in free on Saturday, and lots of activities were set up for them to enjoy while they were there.  Maybe everyone had as much trouble with the maps as I did, because yes, we entered together, but as I walked the paths I had no problem seeing the gorgeous landscapes and taking pictures without lots of people in the shots.  And I started taking pictures before I had even bought my ticket.  I was attracted to the flowers, but as I looked more closely at the flowers it was the bees that caught my attention, and then the butterflies, and even a little moth. HPpinkflowerbeeHPblackbutterflyHPblueflowerbeeHPorangeflowermothHPearlybee

It was the carousel that I had spotted on the map that I had set out to see.  But there were numerous paths intersecting each other, and signs pointing this way and that way, enough so that I kept getting distracted.  Almost right away I heard a waterfall off to my right.  I attempted several pictures but quickly realized that there was a lily pond at the bottom, and yes, there were paths to go there.  So I set off down the hill to take pictures, hoping there would be dragonflies.  And yes, there were dragonflies, but I got ridiculously excited to see the little turtles on the lily pads.  When some kids showed up I think I totally forgot that I’m not a kid and got excited to point out the turtles.  That got the kids excited, and they all were standing precariously close to the rock edge of the pond, switching positions, trying to see.  And when I spotted a frog on a lily pad the excitement level went up a bit more.  Now they were quite excited to be pointing out things to me, and for several moments I was that five-year-old self I’ve been looking for.  Then I noticed one of the moms standing beside me and I had to apologize since they were probably wishing the kids were watching a little more calmly.  She said it was fine.  I thought it was fun.  ‘Kids day’, in more ways than one.HPwaterfall.jpgHPturtleHPdragonflyHPfrog2HP2turtles

 

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Colorful Cape Cod…

Still more photos from an oddly not sad day, but it easily could have been.  I’m approaching the five year mark of widowhood and almost nothing about my life is the same these days.  I have turned my life totally upside-down.  Not something I planned to do, just a need that overtook me as I took the days one at a time.  Life is good.redcanoesPeekingthruLRpaddlersPtpwn3Ptpwn2Ptownwharf3sailboatwall

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Still further east…

This is the photo, which I knew I’d seen recently.  I didn’t remember that it was the physical photo that I’d found, and since I’m not home I forgot that I combined it with a favorite, if irreverent, photo of me.  Charley looking so young, it brought back memories.56531238_10157611759037137_3115301287738998784_o.jpg

And Heather, also in P-town, a rare mother daughter trip in the aftermath of Charley’s death, followed by my mother’s death six days later.IMG_1216.jpegI loved seeing the extra footprints in the sand, still do.

The place…LobsterpotMy daughter and I were teary-eyed when we visited together almost 5 years ago.  Emotions were still raw that day.  It wasn’t as emotional yesterday.  I was glad to be there, glad to see the sky trying to cooperate, just glad in general.

And of course there are many more pictures.  I paid $20 to park on the Provincetown wharf.  I came here over the winter also and parked nearly in the same place for free, so if you average it out it’s not so bad.  It wasn’t so colorful last time I was here, but I knew I’d trade the winter grays for the hustle and bustle of summer on Cape Cod. Ptown1Ptown4PtownwharfPtownwharf2

 

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Heading east…

He looks so young in the picture.  So young that she remembers how she felt about him when they met.  She hadn’t seen the picture in a long time, and the rush of feelings it produced surprised her.  Those were good years.  And since she was back ‘home’, back in New England, she wanted to sit in that same restaurant, be in the same place where they once were happy.  Just once more.  And she wanted it to be today, but she had awoken to rain on the roof.  Rain that sounded like it was going to stick around, even though the weather report said mostly sunny for the day.  She told herself that it would stop, the clouds would break up.  Drive in the rain she thought, then the sun will come out when you get there.  The urge to go proved too much and she set out east, to the tip of Cape Cod.

In case she couldn’t take pictures she stopped for the orange flowers that she was seeing everywhere on Cape Cod.  She made a mental note to do a day of all the flowers on the Cape.  Beautiful flowers spilling over fences and stone walls, but she’d do that another day.  Today she was on a mission.

orangeflower

Along the way she turned at a sign for Fort Hill, thinking she might get pictures.  The road climbed the hill, but there was a parking lot handy and she pulled in.  The rain had stopped and she was about to walk down a trail towards the ocean but a sign stopped her.  It said, “Deer tick habitat,” and she hesitated.  Another hiking couple arrived, and the husband insisted that if you take a head to toe shower, and he waved his arms to illustrate what he meant, you won’t have a tick problem.  He knew because he had had Lyme disease four times, he said.  Not feeling reassured she drove the car up to the top of the hill and found a parking lot with a view. And was encouraged by the sky.

panoramafromFtHillflowerviewbenchview

It did seem that the clouds were breaking up, but once she continued her drive it began to rain in earnest.  Still she continued…